Raven_Lionheart
Regular
Pie Count: -48
Posts: 135
Let's rock and roll!
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« on: December 24, 2009, 07:43:32 AM » |
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T'was the night before Christmas,
And all through the C-Store,
Everyone was bored off their ass,
Even the parking lot who- - err..., ho ho ho!
Jake is sittin' on his butt,
Texting on his i-Phone all night,
Rich is twiddling his thumbs,
Before he beholds a great sight!
Decked out in silver and red,
With reindeer on each side,
Pulling up to pump number two,
Was a killer looking ride!
When all of a sudden,
We heard a great clatter,
So we went outside,
To see what was the matter.
Sprawled out on the lawn,
Was a big fat f---, err, truck driver,
The big son of a gun,
Fell out of his truck!
The guy looked like Santa,
This much was clear,
But Saint Nick's breath,
Smelled like cookies and beer.
Santa stood to his feet,
As we looked across the way,
Because for some odd reason,
There was smoke coming from the J. (flying j)
Saint Nick apparently got stuck in their chimney,
And then let a thunderous fart,
That's when the fat bastard,
Blew their chimney apart!
Lights and sirens were in the distance,
As Santa went on his way,
But before he left in his truck,
This is what he had to say.
"My name isn't Santa,
And I'm a transvestite,
Merry Christmas to all,
And to all a good night!"
-Richard J. Bush-
Dec., 2009
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You're letting that battleship mouth overrun that rowboat ass.
-Richard James Bush (1980 - xxxx), Lilbourn, MO, November 01, 2009
And I said to a guy, "Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful?" And the guy says, "Well it intensifies your personality." So I said, "Yes but what if you're an asshole?"
-Bill Cosby (unknown date, unknown performance)
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Lugh
Psychotically Verbose
Pie Count: -132
Posts: 591
Boy, do I hate being right all the time!
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« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2009, 04:45:09 AM » |
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Mikail
Regular
Pie Count: -23
Posts: 142
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« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2009, 05:32:50 AM » |
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I concur with Lugh, which makes me feel awkward to say.
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KitDreamer
Just can't shut me up
Pie Count: -144
Posts: 1385
Stage 1 Midboss
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« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2009, 06:49:16 AM » |
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agreeing with lugh too. v--- my face  |
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pesterchum: psychicVixen "Someday I'll be a fully fledged Extra stage boss! Just you wait and see!" |
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Bane
Terminal Case of Prolific Posteurism
Pie Count: 6
Posts: 2194
Baker of the New World
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« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2009, 10:30:42 AM » |
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You're some sort of three eye'd alien dog with pointy ears. I weep for your soul.
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I was naked in the shower and looking at my penis, when I started to think about the universe. |
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KamikazeDreamer
Regular
Pie Count: -104
Posts: 160
VP of Relations for the KKK
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« Reply #5 on: December 26, 2009, 11:17:05 AM » |
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"Someday, in the event that mankind actually figures out what it is that this world revolves around, thousands of people are going to be shocked and perplexed to find out that it was not them. Sometimes this includes me." |
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KitDreamer
Just can't shut me up
Pie Count: -144
Posts: 1385
Stage 1 Midboss
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« Reply #6 on: December 26, 2009, 01:47:04 PM » |
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 yes plz |
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pesterchum: psychicVixen "Someday I'll be a fully fledged Extra stage boss! Just you wait and see!" |
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Lugh
Psychotically Verbose
Pie Count: -132
Posts: 591
Boy, do I hate being right all the time!
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« Reply #7 on: December 26, 2009, 02:27:25 PM » |
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 sweet thread guys |
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Raven_Lionheart
Regular
Pie Count: -48
Posts: 135
Let's rock and roll!
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« Reply #8 on: December 27, 2009, 06:01:01 AM » |
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I was sitting at TA (Travelcenters of America) bored as hell when I came up with that variation of "The Night Before Christmas". And the sad part is, the last paragraph was inspired by a guy dressed in drag who came in to the truck stop wearing a Santa hat. So yeah, thanks for reading this. I hope you all had a good Christmas. I know I did. Aside from the drag queen.
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You're letting that battleship mouth overrun that rowboat ass.
-Richard James Bush (1980 - xxxx), Lilbourn, MO, November 01, 2009
And I said to a guy, "Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful?" And the guy says, "Well it intensifies your personality." So I said, "Yes but what if you're an asshole?"
-Bill Cosby (unknown date, unknown performance)
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Lugh
Psychotically Verbose
Pie Count: -132
Posts: 591
Boy, do I hate being right all the time!
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« Reply #9 on: December 27, 2009, 10:57:19 AM » |
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I was sitting at TA (Travelcenters of America) bored as hell when I came up with that variation of "The Night Before Christmas". And the sad part is, the last paragraph was inspired by a guy dressed in drag who came in to the truck stop wearing a Santa hat. So yeah, thanks for reading this. I hope you all had a good Christmas. I know I did. Aside from the drag queen.
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« Last Edit: December 27, 2009, 11:00:51 AM by Lugh »
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Pink
Guest
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« Reply #10 on: December 27, 2009, 12:09:41 PM » |
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THIS THREAD :  |
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