This is a work in progress. Things are still being added, removed, and tweaked daily. I bold something when it's important or new.
I don't know why I did this. Maybe I felt like it was time to get up and do something to change the world for the better, but I was an unproductive lazy shithead so I just decided to make a list of problems instead. Writing this also very nearly cast me into depression, but I quickly remembered feeling jaded and hating people is a stupid cliche.
While I did try to make this functional, it also just sort of serves as a list of all the shit that's smeared around within the walls of TK and is essentially terrible, overdone, or both. I reserve my bias and mock (but very frequently real!) hatred for these bits of text; the actual options are meant to be clean and factual. Though I genuinely do not like cliches and act like a jerk, I ultimately mean this in a fun-spirited, not-so-serious way. Feel free to post any characters you've run through the gauntlet, or seek evaluation.
I'm including all the things I find to be fairly common in TK. If you want to know why something's on there, ask. If you know something that you think shows up frequently enough to be on the list, post it.
I removed all the "has two or more of those options" options, as I decided they were unnecessary punishment. Just take a point for every single option that applies to your character, unless noted otherwise by a footnote or the option itself.
There are actually two parts. The first consists of features common to TK characters. Some of these are very simple and easily possessed by the most well-written characters; having them only means they seem to share them with a considerable amount of the population. How many times a thing is done obviously doesn't make something bad, but monkey jesus can it make it overdone.
And I think I'm being fair when I say that alone means you should die. To be perfectly clear, having plenty of cliches is not bad. It's having them without good reason that's bad. Part 2 attempts to recognize and account for this.
The second part, Redeemers, is
vital and much more difficult. You'll see when you get there. Make sure you read it, otherwise this is not going to be pretty.
I've pretty much decided I'll be working on a beta which incorporates a stronger point value system, which will make it a little harder to so easily qualify for sue status. Probably. Not that I expect any of you give enough of a shit to bother redoing it when it's revised. I wouldn't. I have after all these years composed a list of all the cliches that bug me, though, and that's enough for me. The power of, ironically, low standards.
Now that that's all said, let's begin!
Cliches
You get one point if your character...
name-has a japanese or japanese-sounding name; 2 points if your character has a japanese name but nothing to do with japan
-is an unusual alternate spelling of a pre-existing name ('mykel')
-has a name consisting of a word or words (Darkheart, ShadowLord, etc)
-is 'nameless'; it's forgotten, never told, or does not exist
race-is a vampire
-is a demon
-is elven, or drow
-is an angel; 2 points if 'fallen'
-is a furry or nonfurred anthro
-is the only one of its kind, ever or remaining
-is 'unknown'
-is a catgirl, or a human with features of another creature (but not strong enough to be an anthro)
-is a wolf
-is a dragon
-is a personification of an emotion, virtue/sin, deity, etcetera
-is supposed to be some major religious figure, or related; satan, or the son thereof, etcetera
-is an experimental creation or modified being, be it scientific, arcane, whatever (super-soldiers included)
-is some sort of rampaging, fearsome, destructive or dangerous monster/terror
-is something inhumanly strange; a disembodied entity, an amorphous blob, an orb of light, etc
-is an alien species or species which otherwise developed completely separately from humanity but still looks decidedly human; 2 points if they can reproduce with other human-like species
age-is a child*
-is in their teens to twenties*
-is anywhere from centuries to thousands of years old**
-is outrageously ancient; many thousands to millions to eons**
-is an unknown age, or 'so old the character/everyone forgot'
*Age is relative to your character's race. Take this if they're the equivalent.
**exception: if ancient, you do not need to take the former option.
personality and mind-seems tough, mysterious, cool, intimidating, or something which would otherwise make your character look good, strong, etcetera
-is shy or introverted; 2 points if they're happy and outgoing when they/if open up to someone
-is withdrawn and quiet; antisocial, often meant to be mysterious
-is cold and unfeeling or apathetic
-is calm, collected, and calculating
-has your own personality or something nearly identical to it
-has a mental disorder
-
-is a stereotypical tomboy, if female
-is evil, often stereotypically so or bad just for the sake of being bad
-is stereotypically insane; chaotic, emotionally volatile, delusional, etcetera
-has an alternate personality; often influences or takes over a character for periods of time
-is supposed to be a cunning manipulator (typically female)
-puts on a facade of innocence regularly; often to hide the above option
-is described as sweet
appearance-appears to be an age which they actually are not
-is notably attractive; beautiful, shapely, well-built, etcetera
-is frightening or intimidating (not necessarily ugly), or can be easily
-wears revealing, scant, or otherwise sexy/lewd clothing
-has eyes of an unusual color*
-has hair of an unusual color*
-has blue or green eyes; you do not actually take a point for this, as it's odd to have to justify it. It is very common, though, so note it.
*Dependent on race; for a drow, white hair is ordinary. For an orc it would be pretty unusual.
occupation, livelihood, or general means of living-is a slave
-is just wealthy; doesn't have to do anything
-has no given job, or is a mysterious drifter
-is a mercenary, hitman or assassin
-is a government agent, or works for a similar organization
-is a dancer
-owns or manages a major business, corporation, facility, etcetera
background and story-came from a village, tribal camp, etcetera
-came from a place that has since been destroyed or no longer exists
-has amnesia
-has deceased parents
-is a 'chosen one' or otherwise involved in some grand destiny
-is out for revenge against someone
-is being pursued by something; an agency or organization, the police, etcetera
-ran away from home
-lived out on the streets
-became a slave at some point
-came from a wealthy or high-class home
-is a prince or princess
-has a rough history they don't like to talk about
-was an uncontrollable or powerful child, or both
-was a sadistic or otherwise evil child; 2 points if they killed their parents, a sibling, etcetera
-was once evil, but has since changed their ways
-has died and returned to life
traits-has eyes that change colors; 2 points if corresponding to mood or emotion
-has eyes that are different colors
-has eyes that glow
-has a noticeable aura which encourages a particular feeling in others, often fear, or radiates something (anger, holiness, evil, etcetera)
-is some sort of genius or prodigy; abnormally skilled or talented
-has a mind that drives anyone attempting to probe it insane, or inflicts trauma on them
-lacks a weakness they should or would normally have
-has a spirit, consciousness, or other entity which shares their body or mind
-is immortal; ageless
-is immune to mind-reading, and/or mind-control
-is more intelligent or capable than an average member of their race
powers, abilties, and skills-has one or more elementally themed powers (fire, ice, water, darkness, etcetera)
-has healing powers; often female
-uses 'magic' that comes from a video game or is ill-described; consists of vague words or gestures
-is very, very powerful (archmage, demi-god, ancient horror, or stereotypical arena character)
-is much stronger with, in control of, or skilled at their powers or abilities than most similar people are for their age; they learn very fast
-has telepathy or superhuman empathy*; often female
-has the ability to seduce or otherwise charm characters in a supernatural fashion
-shapeshifting
-is very fast
-has superhuman strength and/or durability
-wields two or more weapons simultaneously
-can transform or has an alternate form
-controls energy (electricity, kinetic energy, etcetera)
-can control or transmute matter, often on a molecular or atomic scale
-is psionic
-has abilities taken from or modeled after those in the Naruto world, or another anime series
-uses chi/ki or similar vital energies
-cannot or has difficulty controlling or otherwise using their powers
-has considerable skills (robotics, medicine, basket-weaving, arcane ritual) or better
-has considerable combat training (weapons or barehanded), or better
-has a final or secret attack or technique, or several
*empathy is a basic psychological function, not a power.
possessions-has a dagger/knife, or several; often female
-has a scythe
-has a katana, or several
-has a firearm or several (often extensively detailed); 2 points for desert eagles
-has a legendary or considerably powerful item
-has a cool car, cool bike, or other badass vehicle
-has something very ornate or with several precious materials
-has an object with unknown or mysterious capabilities
misc-is actually an official or otherwise published character belonging to a series, setting etcetera which does not belong to you and you did not create; a clone character.
Redeemers
Whew. Alright, done with that part, but we're not through yet! In fairness and out of respect for originality, here is a second section which recognizes good qualities. You subtract the points of this section from whatever you accumulated in the previous one. I cannot possibly list every good or redeeming feature, so you may will (hopefully) have ones not mentioned below, or you might outright disagree with what I suggested.
This section essentially allows you to justify any cliches your character has;
if you have solid judgment and believe those cliches were implemented well or reasonably, this is your chance to negate the point for having them--maybe even take multiple points off!
If you even just have a decent explanation or reason for a cliche, it's likely redeemed. A character who just has "healing powers/abilities" because they sounded convenient or like something cool to throw in, with no good origin and not even a basic explanation for function, does not get redemption. On the other hand, a shaman who uses plant-based remedies or exorcism to get rid of illness-causing spirits does have solid justification, and so the cliche point from healing is at least canceled out.
Statistically speaking you should probably get outside opinions on whether or not qualities are redeeming though, because damn, people. If you want an example of Redeemers in action, I have posted a character of my own at the bottom of this post.
So allow me to make it clear that all the options that follow are not the only redeemers a character might have or use, nor do I arrogantly think they make you a paragon of roleplaying. They're just suggestions and examples.
You
subtract one point if your character...
race-is some sort of cryptid or supernatural being which adheres to its respective folklore (i.e. a vampire weak to christian symbols)
-is a member of a race which you created yourself, though the race is subject to standards and must prove not to be mary sue-y itself
-is a standard member of some less common race; a minotaur, a troll, etcetera
age-looks 30 or older; an adult or elderly person
-has an unusual relationship with time
-ages in accordance with the passage of real time
personality and mind-has a mental disability which genuinely inhibits them in some way, is played out accurately and used as more than a fast and easy way to try and add interesting quirks or features to a personality
-has a phobia that meets all of the criteria outlined for mental disabilities
-has facades or fronts the player knowingly uses; the character itself tries to act or look a certain way, rather than the player trying to force that perception on other characters (such as in 'seems tough ...' under personality cliches)
-has an ideology, beliefs or interests which are notably different than the player's, portrayed without bias; trait of good roleplaying/writing
appearance-has brown eyes
-wears armor/clothing that covers the midriff, chest, thighs etcetera
-is described as plain or average; may be somewhat cute or charming
-is ugly. Genuinely "christ on crackers--was her father an orc?" ugly†
-is chubby or overweight*
*if your character is a furry or anthro, you can not get the benefit of this option.
†Ugly here means the general populace of TK would consider your character ugly. I'm sure a particular male troll might be quite handsome to female trolls, but they don't exactly constitute a significant portion of the population.
occupation, livelihood, general means of living-works at a convenience store, or virtually any other mundane, possibly unappealing job
-is decidedly unemployed and has no reliable means of getting money or exchanging services
traits-has a physical/physiological disability, such as a bad knee, blindness, an amputated limb, weak immune system, etcetera, which is not easily compensated for by another trait or power/ability
powers, abilities, skills-has no powers or superhuman abilities; plain normal
-derives them from or explains them using a thought-out/researched, real world/fictional system of beliefs or mechanics
-avoids or genuinely dislikes using them
-receives injury or trauma from using them, which is at or can reach dangerous levels
-received training over an appropriate period of time for their skills from a mentor, academy, etcetera
-is naturally inept or does poorly at at least half of (or the only) powers, abilities or skills they do posses
possessions-has a first aid kit, or some sort of medical supplies in lieu of healing abilities or access thereto
-has mace/pepper spray, a taser, or some similar item for self defense
-has a currency balance you keep track of
-uses a bicycle for transport, or has a vehicle which is not especially fancy or cool
misc-one or more of the cliches or redeemers are intentionally ridiculous or silly, or made fun of by the player. It's easy to overdo this, but the idea is that the character is still serious enough to be playable. You may take this multiple times, for whatever it applies to.
Results time!
1-3 points: Unless your character only has very few overall list items, don't sweat it. You're dandy.
4-8 points: You uh, you should probably look something over.
9-14 points: There is almost definitely something wrong here. Sure you got redemption?
15+ points: This is bad. Take creative writing classes. Elevate your standards. Stop being 15 years old.
0-(-2) points: Good job.
-3-(-6) points: Better job.
-7-(-10) points: You might be trying too hard, which puts you back in the positives. Bv
If you got a poor score and think this is unbalanced, it's actually not. I just hate you, and you deserve to be hated. Go ahead and line up the options you checked and read them back to yourself. You'll hate yourself too.
Example TK character:
Marleen was born in a village destroyed by demons when she was young. Her parents were killed in the attack. Ever since then she's been on her own. She can control fire and has healing abilities. She has grown up to become an assassin. She has a demonic side which occasionally takes control of her body. You can literally find a character like this on any given day; this is not exaggeration.
Bonus round! Profiles! They don't technically impact the originality of your character but god damn do people really need to stop doing a lot of these things. Actually, new rule: if you had a score of 15 or more, you also add any of the following that your character's profile qualifies for to your total score, which just makes you a terrible person, really.
profile-has an anime picture
-has a picture with a figure that is scantily clad, outright nude, or suggestive
-is meant to look like a computer database, or file
-has a section which is added but intentionally left empty or not actually answered
-is styled as an interview; 2 points if your character intimidates, frightens, kills or generally has an attitude towards the interviewer
-contains song lyrics or poetry. If that's all, it's not too long and decidedly pertains to the character, it's probably alright.
-has a theme song
-is a character profile and contains many quotes
-quotes that are of or heavily involve yourself
-heavy thesaurus usage
-obscure or unusual color names ('chocolate fudge', 'pale obsidian', and the like)
This is pretty much what I got after a few hours of recollection and profile scanning. I know certain sections can definitely be expanded. The list will grow in scope, in precision, and in power. It cannot be stopped.
I ran my most recent character through, just to show you I'm not immune either, that it's not really too hard to escape a lot of things on the list, and to give you an example of redeemers in action.
Hobkaul Kujaw; retired orc adventurer.
Cliches:
+1 Appearance: Intimidating. +3 Background: Came from a tribal camp/village, no longer exists, once evil (or cruelly indifferent at least). +1 Traits: More intelligent than average orc. +2 Powers: Healing (troll regeneration), superhuman strength/durability = 7 total
Redeemers:
Age: Equivalent of mid-thirties to forties for orcs -1. Appearance: His father really was an orc -1. Background: Tribal camp (plausible history for an orc) -1, no longer exists (gradually lost sustainability; survivors split/migrated) -1, . Powers: Healing and strength/durability (tied together and generated by a character class; emphasizes tribal belief of eating hearts of enemies to gain a power or talent) -2, Personality and Mind: Strong natural instinct to create victims/dominate; often has to consciously mitigate -1. Occupation: Runs a small bar/tavern -1 = -8
Final Score: -1. I get the towel with turtles on it.
